Here’s the thing about putting off your important decision…
Not deciding is a decision.
As long as you realize that, and you’re okay with that, then I guess you’re okay. Just don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re making a wiser decision by repeatedly kicking the can a little farther down the road.
It’s kind of like what I tell people about relationships. “Your relationship is like a plant. It’s always either growing or dying. It’s never just staying the same.”
If you have dreams to chase, a better life to pursue, or things you need to make right, don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’ll do it “someday.” Or else you’ll end up like the people interviewed by Bronnie Ware, a palliative nurse who spoke with dying patients about their top regrets.
Want to know the number one regret of the dying that kept coming up over and over again?
Here it is:
“I wish I’d had the courage...
I have a secret.
It’s one simple question that gets more “results” than any of the other sophisticated techniques I use with my coaching clients.
Would you like to know the secret question? Ok, here it is…
“How do you want to feel?”
When all the deciding is done, and you’re busy taking action on the new life-direction you’ve chosen, how do you want to feel?
Why is this question so powerful?
Well, it’s simple, really. You see, gaining clarity about how you want to feel is more important than anything else.
It’s more important than figuring out which job will earn you more money next year. Or which house is going to appreciate more over the next 15 years.
It’s more important than analyzing your aptitude for the business idea you might leave your job to pursue. And it matters more than the odds of success in one relationship or another.
All of those factors...
If you have ever wrestled with a big decision, this will be familiar to you…
After thinking about it for days, you have a sudden insight. You feel fairly certain about the course you should take. It feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. But then…
You wake up the next morning and your insight from the day prior no longer seems that significant. Or you see a hole in your original thinking on the matter. The weight of the decision comes crashing back down on you.
This same pattern repeats itself over and over.
After several weeks, you no longer trust those moments of certainty. You take them with a grain of salt, knowing in a different mood or after a bit of reflection, there’s a good chance you’ll be back to square one.
This is a common experience that reflects uncertainty about the risks involved, uncertainty about the factors that matter most, and the effect of your changing moods.